WAS, IS AND IS TO COME

I am really having a hard time letting the past go. I want to not feel like the past mistakes I have made define me and feel like they are going to control me and my future. I know that I need to accept my past, but it feels still so fresh and so like it is still happening. I need to quit telling myself that if I just can get "this" thing then I will be happy. I don't think God will give me any of those things until I figure out how to REALLY be happy without these things and just be happy with the life I have now. I need to remember that my happiness is found in the Lord. He will make me happy, not a house, or financial freedom. I want to be happy and enjoy the right now. Not feel like I cannot truly be happy until certain things happen. I need to find the joy in my life, the joy that I have right now. I love my husband, my daughter, my family, my friends, my church, my church family and especially MY GOD!!! I need to be happy in those things!!!! I want to have peace. Pray I find it soon!!!